Since Jeff is quite a secretive guy, little is known about what he looks like. If any of you can nab a pic of him, send it here! Until then, you can look at this Jerry Springer photo I used on a book report. It may or may not resemble Jeff.

Dickens. Salinger. Rovin. Each contribututed greatly to the literary standards of their time, each setting the bar higher and higher. While Dickens has perhaps a dozen books to his name, Salinger around half of that, the incredible Jeff Rovin has hundreds of them. Yes, that's right, hundreds. Some may call him a hack writer or a literary whore, but I call him a talented, talented man. Epics such as The Unauthorized Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Quiz Book, stunning novellas as I Am Jackie Chan: My Life in Action, and of course, the entire How to Win at Nintendo Games series, a stirring depiction of life as a prepubescent dork. This is my shrine dedicated to that wonderful man, wherever he is. I hope you are watching this, Jeff, cause it's for you.

I began my quest for Jefformation by checking the wonderful libraries surrounding the Dudley-Charlton area. Sadly, my search yielded no biographies on Mr. Rovin. All eyes were on me as I demanded to speak to the owner of the establishment. The librarian stood there, dumbfounded, most likely because she would not have ever thought a mere sophmore such as I would enjoy a consummate author such as Rovin. I was asked to leave, which was no great loss. I did, however, manage to sneak a copy of MAD Magazine into my back pocket on the way out. Take that, you damn fat cats!

I next searched the yellow pages, perhaps finding a Jeffery Rovin. I searched for hours, then realized that the listings were alphabetized by last name. Two more hours were spent poring over the phone book, before I concluded that Jeff does not live in the Worcester area. Ah-ha, Mr. Rovin, I am on to you now! You can't hide forever, as I am going to catch you, one area code at a time!

I had one final option left open to me: the Internet. Even on the World Wide Web, Jeff stays a recluse. A search on Altavista for "jeff+rovin" revealed a mere 632 web pages. I would like nothing better than to read each and every one of those goldmines, but alas, I do have some semblance of a social life, so America Online was to be closed. My search will continue, and someday, perhaps through this web site, Jeff will realize my efforts and grant me an interview. Until then, I'll continue my journey towards Jeffdom, as I hope you will, too.